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This is the essay that got me accepted into the UMass-Amherst Commonwealth College program, and also rejected from two or three other fine institutions of learning. If you have any questions, comments, or grammatical errors to point out, email me. If you’d like to razz my friend Marcel, email him.

An Apple Among Oranges

by Bethany-Faith Kimball

Different is a challenge. In a society where conformity is the watchword for most teenagers, being proud of being different is almost impossible . Most people try to hide how they are different. They follow the cliques, don their Abercrombie & Fitch, and hope to pass for whatever their fellows deem acceptable or "in." I have never been very good at blending in with the cliques. My major hobby is writing; medieval history fascinates me; I follow a pagan, nature-based religion; and, I'm gay. All of that makes me an outsider, apart from the cliques. It has been very hard to be proud of myself, when society has trouble embracing me. There are few niches for gay, teenage, medieval history-loving, pagan writers. One day, I shared my feelings with a friend of mine, Marcel, via email. Marcel is also different – he's a conservative, bisexual, Baptist, Republican who plans to study folklore in college. He wrote back:

"Be proud of who you are! No apologies, but no confrontation either. And no hiding, ever again. I've pledged myself to that. It's about taking control of your fate, and the inexpressible freedom of being who you want to be... Live bravely. Love bravely. It'll hurt, of course. It's no prescription for smooth sailing. But once you've tasted that freedom, I can't imagine ever settling for less."

As hard as it is to be different, denying who I am was even harder. I tried it, and it didn't work. To me, as to Marcel, it's more important that you be who you are, and be proud of who you are, than to be considered a part of something you are not. Defining yourself, instead of letting society define who you are, is difficult, requiring strength and perseverance. But in the end, being true to yourself is so rewarding, and so enriching, that it is worth the effort many times over. Although the possibility of being either rejected or criticized is very real, I have never been happier since I have started being true to myself. I have found that my sexual orientation, my belief system, my interests, and my dreams do not set me apart from those who truly love or care about me... my parents, my true friends, the teachers I cherish most, and the other special people in my life. Those who support me love and care about me for who I am, not what I am, or what is meaningful to me at this time in my life. Marcel, by reminding me of how important self-honesty is, by telling me it's okay to be different, gave me some of the strength I needed to walk into school with my head held high the first day after I "came out." His words, printed on a piece of paper, and posted above my bed, remind me every day when I rise that to be openly different is to be unique, and that being unique is exhilarating.

...finis...

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